What a fucking waste of an outfit
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
