is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
the liver wants what the liver wants
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
