i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Randomize
