do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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