then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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