it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
