U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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