North Korea, Best Korea!
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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