idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
