she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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