Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
