Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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