awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize