Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
