i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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