I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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