My room smells like vodka and shame
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
