its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize