the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
