bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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