what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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