Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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