Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
