1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
