What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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