I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
