You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
