Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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