Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize