I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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