That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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