i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You're earring is so big in my mouth
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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