I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
After tacos, we're chasing women.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
