Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
