the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
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