I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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