i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize