What tipped you off? The sombrero?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize