her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize