no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
She's not a foreskin expert like you
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
