i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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