I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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