Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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