Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
