Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
