Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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