found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
