I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Michael Bay diarrhea
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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