Porn is love you can see.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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