It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
