Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
