my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Randomize
