We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
