I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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